Hi my name is Matt. it said she was on her way to England and she was never coming back to United States and that she wanted a divorce.just totally out of the blue, everything was normal all the way up to the day she left.she kept everything a secret and well hidden.I was totally devastated by this. I am absolutely disgusted by their behavior. The first reason is practical and plausible; the latter can be a devastating blow to the heart and ego. I just want to leave and not hurt him to bad. The truth hurts us, but it also helps us to move on quicker. I also found out she was picking up meds for patients . You know in your heart this is totally unacceptable behavior. After breakups, we are known to cut our hair, move to another state and make quick decisions based on a temporary emotional feeling, she notes. First of all,thank you for sharing your story. Then he makes late night calls and insult me when ever I tried to talk to him about it. Different goals, interests and even more suprising is her personality and character. Loyalty, infidelity, honesty. Yet I feel like he checked out and all I did was serve him, and his needs, but felt like he wasnt there for me. This all may be true, but once the life goes out of the partnership, it takes a lot of work to cultivate it back to where it needs to be. But nope we ship off to my place and to my horror she wont answer the phones all weekend which really catches me off guard, I thought we were doing something here. I have found pills over and over hidden in her car before she totaled it . I need some feed back on how to deal with this.Please help me.Give me some Ideas. I hope things are going a little better. Dont let me suffer too long. Ive let go, Ive got my life back and cant wait to hear you and others on this site can feel the same way . She has been seeing someone for depression, but therapist seemed geared more towards providing affirmation to affluent clients than identifying and treating the more important clinical issues. As the weeks turn into Month I am beginnning to think it was for the best. The right man will respect what you have been through, he will be patient and kind and above most understanding. She tells me her love life with her husband could never reach the level that her and I have. I havent overcome anything yet. To this day I am sure she placed them there knowing I was coming. No one else will ever understand my journey or experience, because it does not sound right or possible, but it happened. I do not work with but I still make sure everyone in well off. he used me. All rights reserved. We did relate and I changed as much as I could to make it work I thought she had too. absolutely the truth you cant endure such a tremendous heart ache without the love of Jesus and fully relying on his help to know Christ is the greatest gift on this earth in spite of all of our heartaches and trials and tribulations my husband left me in October of 2014 without of word took all of our money the car is everything personal belongings everything I came home to nothing and I dont care about the the world of goods my heart ached so terriblyworse than a death (my son died) pure disasterunable to withstand the pain in my heart although I was saved I guess I wasnt fully trusting the Lord at that moment I went outside of my secluded house in the middle of cornfields to hang myself and I took pills a lot (prescription) and I drank a bottle of whiskey in one drink I should have clearly died but did not! Get pleasable. We just stopped, as she put it. I guess theres a lot of money being made in the divorce and recovery business encouraging people like my ex wife to wreck our families. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important. You dont want to have to recover from both. What would you suggest in regards to your post that you made some days in the past? I will never get over this, I am hurting so much. Ill never forget the date. He was very excited on Friday regarding his news that two lots became available and was texting me of how excited he was. Here you'll find all collections you've created before. He was my best friend, and had promised we could co-parent., My childs father was leaving me. My heart is breaking again as it did so many years ago when we separated. What did you do to cause her to leave? I am so hurt. Being married to someone who puts in a lot of time at work isn't always negative. We sold our home we owned together, yet I paid the mortgage as we were looking for a change. The more you attempt to this the farther you push your spouse toward what the evil wanted to begin with, loneliness, despair, and hurt. Our problems began about 5 months ago. Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password. I come from a family of strong people. Brad is the real deal when it comes to saving marriages. Although I was half expecting it in the weeks leading up to the night we separated, the impact was greater than anything I have experienced. This was a choice she made and didnt care about you or your feelings or your child for that matter. He stopped saying i love you or acted although it was painful to say. This is how they survive. Btw she is the only family i have here and i cant get past the fact that she doesnt love me anymore I agree. My husband left me on 10-14-15, after 2years of being married says he found the person he had been looking for since he been in Florida, what I dont understand is why marry someone if you were looking for someone else??? I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with Mint Movement, I want you to know you are not alone. When Depressed Husbands Refuse Help. My wife left me 5 days ago and I do not know what to do with myself to do the same. the first time they ever met face to face was at the airport.love at first sight in her words.the way I found out, I was on my way to work and got a text message. The loneliness is also something you will be unprepared for. She has of course admitted adultery yet refuses to accept this in the papers and has filled against me. Just be prepared if you do this, you may see certain things that can really hurt you. She did move back in with me, but only for a short time, 4 months, and then she moved out again to the same relative. Going through the same this year. I suspected something was going on with her why she broke and i taught she was seeing someone and maybe this guy from before.. Last September she said we were over due to the fact of me cheating with her friend. To which I protested and she got off the phone with me. He called my 93 year old mother and told her he threw me out!! Hi E said tonight for the first time ever that he doesnt love me. I started this relationship and had a son at age 19 years.. 32 years we have did everything together and it dont feel right being alone. Hello! Life can throw some major challenges your way. If we move, he doesnt want to stay in the state but, the kind of small town where he would be happy generally has no work which in my view is not a win/win. Our self esteem is 0!! I am totally devastated. Well I was very scared and in a state of nervousness myself. My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. Who knows, by the time he comes around I probably will be so brand new that he wont be able to afford me, not mentally , not financially or in any way possible. Failure to "wake up and smell the roses". How could he just walk out? Hi, another in the same boat, was with my partner for 8 years, we had had a rough year as his hours were dropped to 3 days, then he got suspended, then sacked , secured him a job at where i work, his mum extremely ill and died recently, stuck with him through all this and then 2 months ago he literally stood up and said he didnt know what he wanted and went, phone contact for a while now zilch, nothing, have asked in a text as he not speaking ( so didnt want to mither) if were done yes or no ? The hardest thing for me is to sleep alone. Copyright 2007 - 2023 GoodTherapy, LLC. So I crumpled and grabbed a couple bags of clothes and left like she demanded. I felt guilty and blamed myself. That happened to a friend of mine and he a lot of her settlement and then spent it and then got divorced and she couldnt get it back. I felt like I couldnt breathe, there was a tightness across my chest and I carried it around for months. Then I returned to the essence of me. Last Monday he decided he couldn't take anymore and left to try and figure out what is making him miserable. But now it's been only two weeks since he left and . Hi man am so sorry to hear that even me am in the same situation last of last week i find my wife chat with guy sp when i ask her she was fighting and fighting but i cul her mum to talk with child but even kmw we still fighting so i dnt know what to do about this situation please guys i need advice she gave 27 years old and i have 29 year she have a kid i dnt have a kid, Hey Jason, Anytime l confronted him about anything l was TRIPPING. She tells me that she hasnt cheated on me even tho I have my doubts. Can deficits in emotional intelligence explain the negative relationship between abandonment schema and marital quality? I feel that in order to keep him in our lives I must accept her too. 8. Love hurts. My world is upside down right now with no end in sight. I totally agree, people shouldnt feel like they can just leave if the spark is not there anymore. So I left him and came back to my house. I hate my life and want to knock her new mans teeth out. What happened will always be reality for us and you will n shall strong and healthy for your children and yourself. Very young we started off mid teens. You are not going to die .Your wife who is supposed to love you has been seeing another man no matter what the excuse this is not acceptable. I am sorry I implied anything else regarding that. I asked if there was someone else she said of course but right now I dont know what to believe please help thanks Derek, My situation isnt all that different man. You may have your theories as to why he's gone, or he may have given you a reason already, but it all comes down to one core . Eric, was the suicide a result of his relationship troubles with your ex? All part of the manipulation. What the heck am I supposed to do now. My two closest friends both claim that if he said jump I would ask how high so I think I was attentive especially when he asked me for special items for dinner or what not I always make sure he had his request fufilled. Tried a lawyer, she sank me for thousands without ever doing a thing and I just wont take that road again. He consistently talks down to me, even though I am highly intelligent, like Im a child who needs scolding. Now 17 months later he leave us. Scharnett-King K. (2022). Its mind blowing. Best wishes to you, hope you find a healthy way to consume your time and helps you start the process! This is not a mistake a mistake is backing your car into a bollard or something similar. it looks as if your man is suffering from mental health issues. But the two most common triggers of severe dog depression are the loss of a companion animal or the loss of an owner. . Im paralyzed and just dont know where to begin? I am reeling. For me, this is still a very difficult situation to get through. With my entire heart and soul, I love her. Im having a hard time knowing how to move on! Well one month into my overseas job that was just for 18 monthsshe told me she was leaving me after the financing on the new house fell through. He wants us to sell our home and buy two places. Three years ago, when Carol Moffa divorced her husband after, she says, putting up with a lot of "crap" over the years, she was downright scared. I am so heartbroken but the more I plead a nd get mad, and for fight for our marriage, the more he rejects me and doesnt even want to talk. Usually it is a combination of both, dont you think? Im starting to think he has someone else but he says not I cant believe he would do this to me so am I just being paranoid because I cant accept that he just doesnt love me anymore or is it a possibility because it seems like he has somewhere else to go It made me feel sick. Theres a reason to leave someone. She has developed feelings for a woman she works with and cannot walk away from her. I am in counseling 1x a week and just started a low dose of a antidepressant pill. anyway thanks for listening, Thank you for your comment, Lorrie. Now, she wont even speak to me as apparently Ive never helped her, or understood her sickness in her eyes. Next day she goes to Illinois. The unfortunate truth is unless two people are willing to work on a marriage it will never work. I will not lie to you, this will not be easy, but I can promise YOU WILL feel relief from staying true to yourself. All that matters is that they make you feel good inside. He was two weeks into an emotional affair, and he says, wanted to do the right thing by not cheating on me. I was paralyzed, I couldnt stop thing about her about us about him about our kids about the hell they were living in. My partner of 7 year left me 10 weeks ago, She is 40 and i am 47 and she had an affair when with a guy i know who is 49 after her father died. Sleep induced by mess (legal) and a fetal position. Thank you all for being so brave, you have blazed a trail for me to follow. I am now about to head home and face this reality even though I didnt want to . She was drugged up on pills again . You have kids? I will follow this for now. I was lonely for a friend, a companion, a co-pilot and a lover to share the rest of my life with. We have been together for 9 no kids (thank God) she was my first love for everything, but things didnt work, and now she say she sees me like a friend I cried all day thats just a way to release what I feel. You will probably find things thaT you might enjoy to do that you could not do before. My husband left me after 21 years to find his happiness and looking for an emotional connection because we were miles apart. I never wanted any sort of separation or break. She strings me along soo damn well She KNOWS I would give ANYTHING for my wife back, my absolute best friend in the entire world, my everything. I think if you Google about them you will also see so many similar traits in the comments (such as yours ) come to light. My niece has cancer and dying. You see, self-help books offer a different kind of advice because they often offer exercises and other activities you can do to help make your life easier. He gave her money and bought her a car to keep her, but in the end, that didn't work. My job prevented me from being at 4 treatments. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Well five years ago when our son was a freshman in highschool I received a phone call from him he sounded like he was in a state of shock. I feel horrible for all of us. As for me, i dont want to be in the same time zone as my estranged wife And when the kids are both out of the house, I fully intend to leave the continent. Always remember that just because the past didn't turn . Its hard to think that way. Im so confused, I dont know where to turn. Theyve only been talking for weeks and he thinks he has fallen in love with this person. She had forgiven me on every occasion but this recent one, really hit her. now this 55 year old woman, has pierced her nose, lip, all up and down both ears, and has gotten three tattoos.it is very strange behavior, for a woman who went to church. Orr T. (2022). Then I get her an Acadia. I found this searching for some advice. My wife of 10 years left 4 weeks ago and hasnt looked back. And some families have one parent. Men want to feel and express the love they have for their spouses. I am caught between being committed to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff and being tired of all the conflict and chaos. I love her so much. For the best part of a week I thought he wanted space. I hope u can sort your situation so you are not left rearing the kids by yourself. My situation Is different In that my ex is NICE all the time. My husband had a very bad anger issue as well actually.